February 2012
10 posts
There is a microscopic person hidden in bone, who wears elegant ash powder all over her skin. Like a skeleton fairy, the reason you feel chills deep inside. She feels like moth wings to the touch, but that’s only in my mind. Like you, that’s where you are.
I try to envision you griping rusted metal fire-escapes, starving with the smell of tea on your breath. It helps to remember that...
This is one of the most beautiful things anybody...
“Sitting here
Bright screen Eyes aching Planting virtual crops Tending imaginary animals Just existing, drifting, caught in a moment of suspended animation Days are repetitive, same old grind with a few hours of darkness to remind me that another day has ended. I hate walking through the nostalgia, it makes my heart clench then beat faster, in bittersweet longing. I still miss the winter...
January 2012
14 posts
Dear Universe,
“Dead End” road signs, dial tones, closing doors, starting engines, empty mail boxes…
<3
Nik.
First day of school :(
I woke Darcy up at 7 and our little family went out for an hour walk. I let her run around the house for another hour while I was packing my books and work slippers (yes, I wear slippers at work). Now I’m starting to think about starting the van to get the heat running & putting the puppy in her nice, snuggly kennel.
Bridgette is going to let them outside again...
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
I don’t have iTunes, or any other music provider :(
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
I can’t think of a soul.
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “Amelia shut the front door of her premises, but forgot to bolt it.”
4) What do you think...
December 2011
1 post
Dear Universe,
Please, these dreams are not productive.. about past people, past places… what-ifs and maybe-somedays… the lack of reality is making me a sickly thing.
Love always,
Nik.
November 2011
7 posts
Honesty is crazy, often time irrational… reveals itself in our most vulnerable moments, but if you just scream it out…. you can be consoled by the fact that you were just shouting honest-truths. The hell that people think you’re melodramatic, adolescent or silly. I’m making it a new policy of mine to live honestly, no matter how erratic and explosive it may be to...
There is a desperation in apartment decorating, a need to express the under-laying confrontation of soul versus evident physical change. A survival technique to keep the aimless from going insane. The dark brown and fawns of the color scheme slapped Jodey in the face every time she walked through the door. Her soul was reflected in the earthy tones, her wild nature damning her to constant...
I’m drinking alone when there is a party next door. My girlfriend is there and the people seem nice. My stomic hurts, I’m only a drink and a half in. I should not have shot that ounce of Vodka.
Here is my theory: I’m never going to make another friend EVER past this point.
Here is my Fear: I’m Never Going To Make Another Connection Ever Past This Point.
Here is my...
October 2011
4 posts
Shower, work… waiting to move into my new apartment. I have nothing left in me to write- I’m clinging to last of my essential, mental reserves.
Dear Universe,
Good show, Old Friend. I’ve a clear idea. Thank-you, I’ll make it work.
The apartment is amazing.
Love always,
Nik.
Dear Universe,
I realize that you have given me more signs than any God ever has… I realize this.
I mean- Windsor?! Answering my silly little requests…I just have them all muddled in my head. I’m not sure what they are pointing towards.
So, for once in my life, let me be direct: Should I move to Windsor/Unity or stay here, in Bangor?
Best,
Nikki
Dear Universe,
I’m not asking for the PERFECT place, I gave up on that when I was 12. I knew that quirks were going to have to be part of the beauty, the sticky cover-paint reality of finding a place. I don’t want to be there for just a year… I just want to have a room, keep a room. Please. I’m trying, this is taking too long :(
love always,
Nikki
September 2011
15 posts
Wish I could watch “Imagine me and You” again… what would that make?? the 1,200th time???
1 tag
i folded my thoughts neatly
and tucked them in your head.
neat and pretty for you to think about:
i washed them, pressed them,
Hung them. i made them nice
for inside of your head.
love always,
nik.
4 tags
Sometimes I feel like going to Portland had a different meaning all together… no matter how much I loved North Star, no matter how much I loved the city… going to Portland had a different meaning all together: I’m the silliest of the silliest girls that ever lived.
5 tags
Dear Universe,
I realize that I have this omni-present detachment from everybody and everything. I realize that, sometimes, I’ll see past myself just long enough that every interaction I had throughout my lifetime comes back to haunt me and overwhelm me and shake up my insides. But I MUST NOT keep Bridgette awake when I’m feeling this way.
I should be happy that I’m able to see past myself...
I miss my bed in Unity. I miss the way it creaked.
Dear Universe,
I’m not going to talk about. I’m going to live it, breathe it, understand it- BE IT. This time, this time, this time, this TIME I WILL BECOME THAT PERSON I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE.
Love, always,
Nikki
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a...